Photographs

I was thinking the other day about how much I love photos. Pictures are magical in my opinion. Have you noticed that they almost always seem to capture the best times in your life. Everytime I'm feeling a bit down which seems to be quite a bit lately I love to just pull out some and sit down and look at all the wonderful things that have happened throughout my life. It's amazing to remember all the people who have shared moments of your life. It's hard sometimes when you get stuck in this rut in your life and you feel like everything sucks and you've done nothing exciting and everything that could go wrong has and how is it that you can even still get up in the morning and function. I know that not everyone can relate with me on some of my feelings towards life but there are some of you that will read this and just know exactly where I'm coming from. Five years ago my life changed in a way I never could have forseen. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to face. Surprisingly I made it through but not untouched. This event made me realize how fragile life is and how we should always live our life in a way where we can live with no regrets. I know that's pretty impossible so I had decided that I would do my best to enjoy every day and try not to stress over the little things. Now as you all know life goes on (even when you don't want it to) and it becomes hard to figure out what things are worthy to stress over. Now I did good for a while but then got caught up in life and decided to just hand out stress like it was nothing. I get all caught up in my problems that I forget to see the blessings that are right in front of me. So with all that said I have decided to recommit myself to my thoery of enjoying life and living in the moment. My husband looked at me like I was completly insane but I have decided to do some exciting things and not think about it to much because from what I've learned so far from my photographs is that memories are priceless. And I don't want to wake up some day thinking I wish I had done it. I read this article the other day and loved this part of it. "Happiness as I understand it-and there is much disagreement on this, I know- happiness is not something you seek, but rather the by product of doing things that make you happy. I think this applies pretty well whether you define happiness as momentary hedonic pleasure or deeper, longer-lasting fulfilment. In either case, you can't "try" to be happy; you do things that will make you happy as a result. To put it another way, you can't try to find happiness; happiness will find you when you do things you enjoy."

Pictures at the Beach

Cape Cod Vacation!

We just got back from a week at the Cape. Some friends of ours offered us an extra Time share for the week so we jumped on it. It was very nice to get out of town for a little bit and forget just a little about all our worries and spend time as a family. We've never been to the Cape so we didn't really know what to expect. Even though the weather wasn't what we had hoped for this past week we still were able to enjoy ourselves and make most of the week. We stayed at Sandcastle resort in Province Town. I loved the little town and how much there was to do. We went to the beach to walk out during low tide which was so much fun. We were able to see some cool things. We found Mermaids purses, clam shells, oysters, crabs, horseshoe crabs. The kids enjoyed themselves so much. On a couple of the really crumby days we swam at the indoor pool which wasn't as warm as I thought it would be but still so much fun. A few of the places we went that I would totally recommend if you are ever out in the Cape area are Race Point Beach a must, we went on a critter cruise which I would do again but preferable on a day with warmer weather. The Highland Light house I think was the name. We went to the Pennimans House which is the picture with the kids on the porch. We couldn't go inside but there was a trail to walk which was a really nice. We are very grateful to have such nice friends that would be so generous in letting us tag along. We had a lot of fun and hope to go back to the cape someday.

Noel Metzger

I have to say I do think Noel is a little weird. :) I love her so much though I don't know what I would've done through all my tough times if I hadn't had her friendship. She is a pretty amazing woman and I always wonder how I can steel a little of her energy so that I may accomplish just half of what she accomplishes in a day. I do think her husband Joe has an amazing talent and if you haven't seen his work just go back in my posts and see all the pictures he has taken for my family. I absolutely love them. You could also remember the next time your at my house to check out his painting that is hung by my front door. I Love It! ( make sure to tell Noel how much you like it too) I am grateful the Metzgers are a part of our lives and we love them so much! ( I typed this post on my phone or else I would've added a nice picture of Noel to the post so for now just pretend it's there)

We went to the neurologist last Tuesday and she had the results to the MRI. It turns out it wasn't a normal MRI and something different came up on his. On the left part of his brain he has a clump that is called "Periventricular Heterotopia". Which basically means that between the 2nd and 4th month of pregnancy when his brain is developing there are cells that migrate to the edges of the brain and some of his did not. so instead they clumped up and are now causing the seizures. They put him on medication he is taking Keppra twice a day and will continue for a while. I don't know for sure but it seems like the medicine has controlled the seizures seeing that he has not had another. But we will see for sure when the day comes that they may want to reduce the dose. He is doing great and you would never know by looking at him that he experienced any of this. He has been a super trooper through it all and has shown more patience than I could ever have. He's also been very good at taking the medicine (thank goodness). We thank everyone for all the prayers and are very grateful to have so many people who love Caleb. Here are some funny looking pictures of Caleb when he had his EEG!







The little red monster was given to him at the MRI appointment to be his buddy during the procedure. He was able to name him and take him home with him. He named him "I don't know I don't know". We thought that was pretty funny>

What a Scare!

I had quite the scare this weekend that reminded me that just as you think your life is under control and everything is running smooth you are suddenly awakend from that day dream and your Faith is yet tested again. There is no doubt in my mind that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he has given me the Gift of the Holy Ghost that is always there to comfort me at all the right times. So anyways I'm sure your dying to know what was this scare? Well Thursday night my sweet little Caleb had a seizure. It was one of the most terrifying things that I have witnessed. It was a moment of panic on my part and struggling to not fall completely apart I was able to call our good friend Len ( who happens to be an ER Doctor and lives about a minute up the street) and quickly after 911. The ambulance arrived very quick and we made our way to the hospital where everything checked out fine and we came back home that night with orders to follow-up with the pediatrician the next day. I made the appointment the next morning and Caleb woke up that morning feeling great. So even though my nerves were shot at this point I was feeling better than the night before. We dropped the kids off at my sisters later that day and heading to the doctors with Caleb who was a little upset that he couldn't stay and play at my sisters as well. When we were about two minutes from the doctors office he had another seizure in the car. At this point I just wanted to die. Thinking I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. But boy does Heavenly Father like to prove me wrong. The Holy Ghost steps right in and helps me to get through all this as calm as possible. We pull over so I can get him on his side and the seizure finishes and we hurry our way to the doctors since we figure we are closer there than the Hospital. They check him at the office and he is doing well at this point except for that he is exhausted and past out through all this. So they give us the option to either go home or the Hospital for a 24 hr observance. Bet you can't guess what we chose? Yeah we chose the Hospital because with all this being new to us I was scared of another one. So we drove to the hospital where they had a room waiting for us and spent the night. Caleb actually had a good time. I think he enjoyed the one on one attention he got from Us. Kaleigh and Zachary spent the night at my sisters. I think they had fun as well. It's a pretty fun house to be at I've been told by my kids. So we spent the night seizure free and got to go home the next day knowing pretty much the same as we did when we were admitted. The good news is he has been fine since and hasn't had another seizure, bad news is that we will probably have a million more appointments ahead of us. He had an EEG today that I will post a picture later of him with all his wires. He did amazing for this test. Friday is the MRI and Tuesday appointment with Neurologist. I will keep you updated when I find the time. In the meantime we can use all the prayers we can get. So keep them coming. I'd like to just mention how grateful I am for all our family and friends who have done so much for us over the weekend it was all appreciated so much. I am grateful and fortunate right now to have my sister so close who let's me put the bulk of work on her. I love her alot and will miss her greatly when we move someday. I am grateful to have such a wonderful daughter who has been so helpful even though she doesn't like or understand what's going on. Grateful for my husband who is always there to give me emotional support and remind me when I'm being a little crazy. Grateful for everyone who came to the hospital to let Caleb know they loved him. It was nice for him to have so many visitors. Thanks again to everyone who helped and everyone who I will continue to ask for help just know how much I appreciate it. I am grateful for all the blessings that we have recieved this weekend. Thanks for the prayers again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately which is not a very good thing for me seeing that it requires to much energy that I don't have. I'm sure this is why I have not accomplished much in my life up to this point. I always said that I am going to live one day at a time and not stress out about what's going to happen tomorrow if we don't do this or that. I have to say this is a huge challenge I face each day as I wake up terrified of what the day will bring, what bill will arrive in the mail box?, what will Kaleigh's school ask of us?, What will the children want from me?, what will the husband ask of me?, What chores must I finish? ...etc Now through all this I remind myself that this is just another day and the same things will come back to haunt me the next day so I try to stop and see what I have in my life. I have three beautiful children here with me and one amazing son who has moved on to live with our Heavenly Father.I have a wonderful Husband (even though he drives me bonkers) that goes to work every day to support us, I have a Sister who loves me, I have a mom who I love with all my heart and wish that she knew how to relax a little so she didn't worry as much,I have a Father who I miss terribly , I have been blessed with countless friends who have been amazing to me and my family and so much more I could go on and on. I am grateful for the gospel and what it has done in my life and I'm grateful for everyone who has been a part of my life at one time or another just know that you have helped shape me into the woman I am today. I love you all and hope to be better at sharing pictures and what's going on in our life for those of you who care!